... to be reflexive is to structure a product in such a way that the audience assumes that the producer, process, and product are a coherent whole. Not only is an audience made aware of these relationships, but they are made to realize the necessity of that knowledge.
...the producer deliberately, intentionally reveals to his audience the underlying epistemological assumptions which caused him to formulate a set of questions in a particular way, to seek answers to those questions in a particular way, and finally to present his findings in a particular way. Ruby, J. (1980). Exposing yourself: reflexivity, anthropology, and film. Semiotica, 30 (1/2), 153–179. 

... because if you can pass as normal then you can scoot under the radar. The whole question of how you can lubricate the social never stops being difficult, and it never stops being a matter of shame, because when one confronts one's ambivalence and incoherence one feels in a bad faith relation to the model of ethical solidity we expect from ourselves. But what if we just trained ourselves to accept that all of us are incoherent, subject to a variety of aversive and connective impulses that we are always managing? The social then would be a totally different space of intimacy and anxiety. Berlant, L., Najafi, S., & Serlin, D. (2008). The Broken Circuit: an Interview with Lauren Berlant. Cabinet Magazine, (Issue 31: Shame), 85.

This suggests we should manage designerly processes not using standards, but principles and attitudes