Extra-performative elements of a recent concert by the Grand Rapids Symphony Orchestra.

1. The preliminary discordance: which is not actually a discordance, but the simultaneous tuning of a full set of instruments before the performance begins
2. The turning of the pages: as the choir sings, and reaches the end of one page; there are ripples of page-turning that pass through the choir, regions of coordination, late-turners, all visually apparent as little bits of white appearing and disappearing across the sober black field of choir robes
3. The standing up of the choir: as the choir gets up from their benches (but why do they do that?) there is a momentary hush; robes rustle together like a breaker on a shore, and suddenly the choir is still, poised, ready to deliver
4. The putting-down of the violins: twenty violins go from neck to knee, from horizontal to vertical, all at the same moment. And wait. The reverse is not quite as spectacular.
5. The coughs in the silence: during interludes in the music, coughs pop out like firecrackers, as if they had been held back and could not be resisted any longer. Echoes travel round the auditorium and set off further rounds of coughing, like a ball in a pinball machine that has been hit too hard.
6. The crackle of flipping through the program: as the music drops to a gentle whisper, just moments after a sheer crescendo, the pages of hundreds of program booklets crackle as they are turned by an audience intent on following the words, unaware that the effect they have on a sensitive listener is not unlike the sound of a million locusts alighting on a dry cornfield. But they intend well, so we forgive them